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"Sharon and Ozzy decide to renew their wedding vows at a hotel on New Year's Eve. Kelly is to serve as flower girl, with Jack and Robert as ushers. Kelly objects to the fact that the ceremony will be conducted by a rabbi; although Sharon's father is Jewish, Kelly insists that a person cannot be Jewish unless their mother is. Ozzy is not at all enthused about the ceremony. Kelly and Sarah are less than impressed with Jack's latest female \"\"friend,\"\" particularly because she once dated Jack's best friend. Sharon catches the girl in bed with Jack, and later finds condoms in the room. She tries to encourage Jack to settle down and find a steady girlfriend, but he would rather juggle several girls because the idea of a relationship freaks him out. Ozzy and Jack have various body parts plucked, shaved and waxed before the wedding. Sharon recalls the couple's first wedding night, when Ozzy passed out drunk in the hallway. Ozzy insists that he will not drink this time. Sharon recites he"

"The Osbournes struggle to come up with a gift for Jack's birthday. Kelly strongly objects when Jack dances with Christina Aguilera, whom Kelly had previously insulted on a number of occasions. Kelly complains that Jack is disrespecting her by hanging around someone that she dislikes, and insists that she would never do this to Jack. Jack tries to explain that Christina actually had nice things to say about Kelly. The kids get into a brawl, which Sharon must break up. Meanwhile, Ozzy visits the dentist and intakes a bit too much nitrous oxide. The family visits a medieval-themed club to celebrate Jack's birthday, and buys him a knight suit. Jack tries out his new sword by dueling with a buddy in the street."

"The pets suffer from a flea infestation, creating havoc around the house and leaving everyone itchy and miserable. Kelly prepares to go on a trip to Philadelphia to visit her boyfriend, Bert. Sharon does not want her to go away alone (she prefers her to have security at all times), and drives Kelly crazy as she somewhat jokingly nags her. Sharon has Robert and Jack move a heavy statue out to the garden, but never seems satisfied by the location. She forces them to move it several times. The house is redecorated, and Ozzy finds himself extremely bewildered by a giant statue of a hand. Kelly goes against her parents' wishes and gets a nose ring, which Sharon wants her to remove. Kelly later mistakes the nose ring for something on her nose and accidentally flicks it out."

"Ozzy continues to work out with his trainer, Pete, who Ozzy jokes may be a robot because he never stops talking, sweats, eats or goes to the bathroom. Ozzy is to run five miles on his 54th birthday. He runs almost two miles before he is stopped by a foot injury. The family throws a party for Ozzy's birthday, complete with a fireworks display by Jack and Robert. Ozzy eventually tries to run the five miles again, and succeeds this time. Meanwhile, Ozzy has problems with his new car, as the voice recognition system can't understand a word he says."

"Ozzy and Sharon prepare to leave for a few days on a Hawaiian vacation. Ozzy tells Jack that he is no longer to have people over at the house after 11 PM. Kelly is afraid that Jack will turn the house into a nonstop party while their parents are gone. Sharon promises to talk to him, but this does little to reassure Kelly. Jack has a lot of people over late at night, and they soon begin using the pool and making a lot of noise. Kelly becomes very upset because she is tired of Jack and his friends keeping her from sleeping. He refuses to listen to Melinda when she asks them to be quiet. When Kelly confronts Jack, he dares her to hit him, so she nails him in the face. They get into a fight, and the staff has to pry them apart. Kelly calls Sharon for sympathy, but Jack gets on the line and complains about the cuts to the face he sustained from the punch. Kelly feels Jack deserved what he got; Melinda agrees somewhat, but warns Kelly to be careful about her temper. Sharon and Ozz"

"Ozzy decides to stay home while Sharon, Melinda and the kids travel to New York. Sharon hopes that Ozzy and Robert will spend more time together, but the two mostly avoid one another because they have little in common. Robert spends a lot of time listening to music and dancing in his guest house, and Ozzy cannot get one of the songs out of his head. Ozzy buys a lot of kitchenware, and spends over $600 on candy for Sharon. Meanwhile, Melinda learns that she is pregnant, and annoys Kelly by talking about her pregnancy nonstop. Kelly also gets into a playful wrestling match with Sharon."

"Sharon receives a peace offering from one of her folk-singing neighbors, but the neighbors on the other side begin to drive the family crazy by playing tennis at all hours of the day and night. Jack tries playing drums outside, and Ozzy blasts the loudest, most obnoxious music he can find. However, nothing seems to have an effect on the neighbors. Jack shoots at the court with his paintball gun, leading to a visit from the police. Sharon suspects that the neighbors are responsible when three of the Osbournes' cats disappear, although the coyotes seem the more likely culprit. Kelly brings home another cat, but Ozzy isn't very happy about it."

"Jack visits the home of singer\/actress Courtney Love. He begins dating Kurt Cobain's sister Brieann, who is staying with Courtney. They get along very well, and Jack teaches her some of his favorite recipes, including beans on toast. Sharon is touched to learn that Jack has a tattoo of the word \"\"Mom\"\" with a heart around it. (He got it right after she was diagnosed with cancer.) Ozzy tries out some song lyrics on Sharon, who is busy shopping at the time. He later plays a demo of the new song for Jack and Brieann. Ozzy is bewildered by a rotisserie turkey as it cooks in the kitchen."

"After 17 years of waiting, Ozzy fulfills his dream of taking Jack on a fishing trip. They get in trouble with the captain for throwing firecrackers at the pelicans. Everyone on board places bets on who can catch the largest fish, and a friend of Jack's wins the contest. Ozzy winds up catching some tin cans and a bird. He also momentarily mistakes a seal for a shark. Nevertheless, they both have a great time on the trip."

"Jack and Robert fly to England to spend time at the Osbournes' other home. Jack shows Robert the house and introduces him to the family's oldest dog, Sugar. Some of Jack's friends also come over to hang out with them and drink. Lola grows lonely and bored because she misses Jack so much. Sharon also laments the departures of both Jack and Kelly, who is away on tour. Meanwhile, Ozzy uncovers an old keyboard from his Black Sabbath days and tries to get it working again. He also becomes fascinated with carrot cake, but Pete tries to stop him from overdoing it. Jack and Kelly return home and are reunited with their loved ones."

"Kelly experiences problems in her relationship with Bert. He finally breaks up with her over the phone on Valentine's Day, claiming that no one took him seriously because he was dating her. Kelly becomes extremely irritable and depressed, and takes her anger out on the family. She argues with Sharon, who suggests that she find another manager; and bites Jack on the arm. She overhears her family talking about her and decides to leave home. Meanwhile, Jack is alarmed when he acts out violently in his sleep. He wakes up one night to find himself beating up Lola. On another night, he attacks Minnie; and is horrified to wake up and discover that he has killed her. He flees the house with the body. A devastated Sharon retreats to the family's Malibu home to escape memories of Minnie. Ozzy is left all alone, with no one to help him fix the television. Suddenly, the director yells, \"\"Cut!\"\" Ozzy rejoins his family (including Minnie) in another room, and it is revealed that this episo"

"The Osbournes prepare for Christmas in a series of skits. The dogs are dressed in festive attire; Sharon horrifies Kelly by trying to make her dress \"\"Christmasy\"\" for the family's upcoming party; Mandy Moore tries in vain to get Jack and Kelly into the holiday spirit; and Ozzy very reluctantly performs a holiday duet with fellow MTV reality star Jessica Simpson. The family hosts a blow-out celebrity bash for the holidays, complete with cooking segments, a visit from Santa, Christmas carols, and a unique version of \"\"'Twas the Night Before Christmas.\"\""

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"Jack goes for his driver's license test, just before his 18th birthday."

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"Kelly and Ozzy plan to travel to England, where they are to perform a duet of \"\"Changes,\"\" the title track from Kelly's sophomore album, on Top of the Pops. Ozzy upsets Kelly by saying that he doesn't want to come with her, but Sharon assures her that he will change his mind. Kelly's boyfriend, Rob, joins her on the trip. Ozzy annoys Kelly when he immediately complains of boredom and says that he wants to go back to Los Angeles. They later get along well while riding ATVs on the family's estate. Everyone seems pleased with their duet, and Ozzy predicts that it could hit number one on the U.K. charts. Before a talk show appearance, Kelly gets into a fight with Rob. They apparently break up, and he returns to the U.S. Ozzy suffers an accident while riding one of the ATVs. His bodyguard finds him lying on the ground, unconscious."

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"Kelly continues to spend time with Rob, but doesn't want to be his girlfriend because he wants a committed relationship and she feels that she is too young to settle down. Sharon and Melinda try to convince her to change her mind. Jack heads off to Las Vegas. Ozzy and Sharon worry that he will spend too much time gambling. Kelly tells her parents that she is going to drive to San Diego. They don't want her to go, but eventually offer their approval. She actually has lied and is headed to Vegas as well. Ozzy becomes annoyed with Sharon for trying to decorate his studio. Ozzy and Sharon spend Valentine's Day together and express the hopes that their kids will meet someone special soon. They reflect on their years together."

"Ozzy begins suffering from insomnia. He eventually undergoes testing with a sleep disorder expert to determine the cause. Jack gets a tattoo of a cross on his chest, but Ozzy and Sharon do not like it."

"The family tries to decide where to go on vacation. Sharon turns down Fiji because none of the hotels meet her standards, while Ozzy nixes a number of other locations for various reasons. Sharon ultimately decides on Hawaii, although Ozzy is still reluctant to go. Meanwhile, Kelly wins a major role in a television pilot. She must miss out on the family's vacation to go to Vancouver for filming."

"Ozzy, Sharon and Jack head to Hawaii for their vacation. Ozzy continues to be miserable for a while, but cheers up following a private luau. Jack goes diving in a shark cage. His friends invite strippers to the luau, and behave in ways that embarrass him. The traveling party winds up leaving without Jack's friends when they fail to show up on time for their flight."

"Kelly irritates her mother by getting a lip ring. Ozzy and Jack are convinced that Kelly's erratic behavior and chronic illness are the result of drug use, but Sharon refuses to hear of it. Kelly eventually admits the truth to Sharon and enters rehab. Ozzy and Sharon don't believe she will stay at the facility for long."

"Kelly struggles to adjust to life in rehab, and frequently calls home requesting various personal belongings. She wants to leave, but Jack urges her to tough it out. Jack celebrates both his birthday and a year of sobriety. Kelly arrives home and becomes frustrated by the curfew and other rules she must follow. She clashes with her mother often, and accuses Sharon of messing with her head when she expresses her concerns."

"Sharon and Kelly plan a trip to Kenya on behalf of a charity organization. Ozzy doesn't want them to go, as he fears they will be kidnapped or contract malaria. Sharon also has second thoughts after hearing more details about the trip. The family receives a visit from Sir Elton John, who gives Ozzy an expensive necklace that leaves him feeling a bit embarrassed; and goes on a shopping spree with Sharon, Jack and Kelly. Ozzy, Sharon and Kelly later attend an event in honor of Covenant House, where Sharon receives an award and Kelly bids on a puppy."

"A 25-year-old fan wins a charity auction for the right to spend the day with Sharon. Sharon is touched by the woman's generosity and invites her to spend the night at the Osbourne home. Meanwhile, Jack must attend an online traffic school after getting a speeding ticket."

"The family travels to Japan, where Ozzy is to receive the Legend Award at the Video Music Awards. Kelly also makes several personal appearances. One of the employees, Sam, meets with some family members whom he hasn't seen in years, but can only communicate with them through a translator."

"Sharon's talk show tapes its final episodes. Feeling mistreated, Sharon clashes with her bosses to the very end, showing up late on purpose and demanding money upfront. She takes her mind off of things by shopping, including the purchase of a state-of-the-art toilet. Kelly feels hurt when Sharon repeatedly criticizes her wardrobe. Ozzy pays another visit to the dentist."

"Dr. Phil McGraw pays a visit to the house, where he holds a frank discussion with the Osbournes about drug abuse and other issues that have affected the family's relationships with one another. Examples are given through clips from previous episodes."